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Loss Of Truth
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Chapter 1   (in part)+I HAVE TO ADMIT ....being with one man excites me but what I've learned excites me even more, it's the fantasy of being with two men.
It' something I thought about over and over in my mind a million times while I was making love to  him.  Maybe it was because he had a thing about making me do what he wanted, or maybe it was that he knew all along what was in the deep dark corners of a women's mind...my mind.
Something about him kept this fantasy going....would he have me live it for real.....I wasn't sure, but the one thing that was certain  was  that I would soon find out. 
Although he was far too egotistical for what was about to happen, it didn't negate the fact was that he was still a master manipulator. He had the perfect access to a cover story if there ever was one, he held the trump card in all his  relationships.  He knew it would entail some risk that he would be taking but somehow it's time had come.   He now held the gold and the reason for  making his fantasy become a reality.... and today he was putting that  trump card into play.
okay,  so I'll go along with it and play his game Olivia pondered, what can I do....she sighed.
At this point, he owns me, heart,  soul,  body and mind.
I would do anything for him.  There's no way away from him, although I never want to be without him..ever.  Let's just see how far he pushes this charade, Olivia thought...I'm calling his bluff.

All I can tell you is that this is where it all started.
It was on a hot Miami night that I met him.  Here I was enjoying the scenery at a restaurant called Sunday's on the bay.  It was a Local Restaurant on Key Biscayne about half way down the Key right before entering Bill Bags Beach.  I recalled sitting on my bar stool  mesmerized by the view of Biscayne Bay and listening to the waves lap up against the dock when I saw 38 foot Grady White positioning itself close enough so it could disembark.   I was in eye shot to get a good  enough view of him as he stepped onto the deck.   I took one deep breath before I realized that my heart started pounding  with desire.  There he was dressed in white pants with an aqua shirt.  When he came closer I saw that the color of his shirt  accentuated the color of his bright blue eyes. 
As he stepped even closer I could see his smile widen as he saw me.  I have to admit I was drawn to him immediately,  I could feel the heat move through my body surging upward at an unbeatable speed.  I wanted to move but I couldn't.  It was like I had been hot glued to my seat and a giant hand was holding me down so it could set me in place.  I couldn't even look away from him, not for a millisecond. 
He came directly towards me as my eyes followed his every move. My body acted like a giant magnet pulling him closer and closer,  it was obvious that he felt the same gravitational pull in my direction because he acted like a man on a mission that no one could ever dissuade him from. 
Right then I felt the butterfly's mounting in my stomach..... I was breathless. 
He came closer now.
He stood there staring, his bright blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight.  He was so self-possessed, so confident.   His presence held me captive with those blond curls flowing around his handsome face....It was in that split second that he had me.
Now looking back I knew I fell instantly in love with him but even better was the fact that he fell instantly and obsessively in love with me. 
There was no doubt, he was a devil to most people... but he was my angel and would always be..... even now.
          The Florida Keys
The day was bright and the sky was an ever beguiling azure   blue, and she was daydreaming as a familiar tune played...."We had it all..just like Bogie and Bacall..sailing away to Key.....    She was sitting reflectively  on her Adirondack beach chair observing the  aquamarine rolling waves that were now delightfully tossing around a  lone Hobie Cat with a crimson and white stripe sail. 
 The boat was jostling back and forth and  rocking dramatically from side to side.  It was swaying  so rapidly in the breeze that it was making her frightfully dizzy just watching it rock  port to starboard in the wind swept surf.
 Olivia  disliked this feeling immensely, it made her stomach queasy and gave her a feeling of being deathly sea sick.
She loved the sea but sometimes it was just too much for her to  sit and watch it's motion and  it's foaming high ground swells for hours on end, but preferably  she would rather be taking a dip in the cool adulating motion of it's deep blue buoyant waves.  
That's pretty much all there was to do  in Islamorada, that and deep sea fishing.   I suppose one could go scuba diving at John Pendercamp Park  but now was not the time for that....it was almost time to go.

Her relationship with him was  stressed and demanding at times, her one true love was a stern task master and so frightfully commanding that  sometimes it was difficult for her to stay focused.  There were times she wondered what she ever saw in him, but that only lasted until her thoughts brought her back to all the good things about him.   It never failed he would always surprise her and do an about face making her forget that she ever had these feelings of detachment. 
It was these times that she looked forward to.
  She loved him okay,  just as she had right from the minute she saw him, she never doubted it, but It was that unnameable feeling that was growing inside her gut making her want to experience more than just him..... The one that kept that tug of war going on inside of her.
It was like someone was feeding her brain with suggestions...she felt  she had to do what she was about to do and if she didn't get away now it might never happen again.
Oh Lord I'm talking out loud to myself....I better leave  here while I can. 
He was always watching her....just waiting for her to make her move.  He seemed to know when she was teetered with the idea of escaping him,  her emotional nervousness seemed to alert him.
The smirk on his face was a dead giveaway that there was more going on here than meets the eye.  He had it all planned.

I better get out of here now before he wakes up and I'll never be able to leave.  If I wait any longer he will find me...I just can't resist him if he tries to persuade me to stay.  I have to get away right now, he'll never understand.
It was 6Am as she packed her bags into the Porsche.   She  left a note making some excuse about taking the Porsche up to Miami to have Dario take it in for service before leaving for  New Jersey to see her mom for an extended week-end visit.

The 18 mile stretch of the Overseas Highway through the Everglades took only minutes to negotiate without traffic and she was soon on the Florida Turnpike headed for Kendall and A1A.  What an breeze driving was today Olivia thought...that was a shock.
Olivia hit the overseas highway at 6:10 and she was able to get to  Coconut Grove by  6:50, the fact it was smooth sailing all the way helped get her there on time.   She turned the Porsche over to Dario who was soon on the 112 extension by 7:25 driving Olivia to the Airport for her flight into Newark.
Dario was the house boy who did just about everything and anything that was needed.  He could be trusted and had earned his position of trust after 5 long years on the job.

Once Olivia landed in Newark Airport she would get a cab to her mother's house in Mountainside where she would visit overnight and pick up her beloved  Red Corvette that her mom kept stored away in the garage for when Olivia came to visit.
She knew she only had a day at her moms before leaving for Vermont.  It was there she would meet Jonathan.   She still needed some time to think before their meeting.   Against her better judgement she decided to drive the Corvette and give it a little road time.  I just hope I don't hit a snow storm....she pondered.  The Corvette is not the best driving in the snow, but I'll have plenty of time to think while I drive.... that's what I need right now....she let out a sigh.

She knew it could have been the loneliest boring day of her life if she had stayed sitting there  gazing at the aqua waters off the East side of the small Island...the key she lived on was called Islamorada and  was just south of Key Largo and north of Marathon. 
It was far enough away from the hustle of Miami and close enough for the Island atmosphere these small Key's offered. 
Key's were small chain of Islands just below Florida City where A1A became the Overseas Highway.  The roadside was filled with mangrove plants and high tidal waters at times where Egrets stood looking for for prey.

 Oh my, those salacious thoughts flowing through the astral plane of Olivia's imagination did just the trick to titillate her emotions.   They were finally making her reach out to experience other men in her life....about time she thought.
It also kept her from preventing the boredom of Island living that she found so unamusing at times. 
Hmm....I get so  lonely down here by myself and I would really like to meet Jonathan. 
Her mind couldn't stop thinking of him and she knew the time had come when she would have to make a decision. 
It was inevitable..she had decided.....they were finally going to meet.  
When that emotionally charged day was finally here, it was the long week-end they had both been waiting for...... a four day Holiday.

His big brown eyes glowed like a beastly cat ready for an attack as he sat on the corner of his bed feeling content in knowing that he would soon meet the object of his affection and that she didn't have a chance to escape him all week-end long.
He had pictured what could be a very interesting tantric week-end not unlike the week-ends he fantasized about since they met online.
Now..... all these plans were about to become his reality.  He felt like he had waited a lifetime for her... and for this day.

It was more than a six hour drive to Mount Snow and he had better get going if he wanted to meet Olivia on time.
He picked up his overnight bag and headed for the door.  He slipped on his sun glasses and donned in his designer jeans he headed for his new BMW sports car.  A quick exit before Louise woke up. 

It was around 4:00am when he hit I-95 and the Delaware Memorial Bridge.   That put him spot on and gave him plenty of time to stop for a few breaks on the way.  The worst part of the drive was out of the way..the ride from small beach community up rt 13 to the Bridge, the rest of the trip would be all highway until he got to Vermont. 
He had pondered taking the Cape Lewis Ferry to Cape May then traveling north on the Garden State, but time wise that might just put him even further from his destination,
and Olivia seemed to indicate that she felt more comfortable driving up to Vermont alone to meet him.

 Her tussled long blond hair flowed down over her tight low zipped pink sweater jacket showing off her golden tanned skin..she had on her sexy Mavi Jeans in the latest of fashion.  She took a last look in the mirror.  She wanted to make sure she looked smoking hot for her  meeting with Jonathan.

She promised she would meet him at 12:00 but the trip was a little hectic driving through Connecticut.  
With the many miles in between her and that blue Ocean setting and the love of her life she managed to arrive in Vermont  around 1:00, she was late.  She wondered if he was here waiting for her. 
She felt a flood of emotions come over her,  fear, timidness, excitement and an array of other feelings before she could finally settle down and catch her breath.
I can't wait to meet him...I hope I like him.
Jonathan was none the wiser and thought she had just come up from her home in Jersey, but no, Olivia had more hidden than she would ever reveal. 
Olivia's resume' with men read long and hard, but then again how could they know that.   Men were always fooled by her soft exterior, her sweet voice and her gentle mannerisms.  It was her shyness that  stood out above all else that gave men a false sense of security with her.  Jonathan loved the fact that Olivia was sweet and submissive to him.  
When he looked into her eyes he found her shy and yielding.
 
He pretty much hooked Olivia in since they had been chatting online and talking daily on the phone.  When he finally got her to agree to this week-end meeting with him.
He was so sick and disillusioned with the women in in his life and their truculent ways....he was ready to scoop up Olivia and run away from home with her.    He wanted this woman in the worst way and he knew it.

There they sat together at the Mount Snow main base ski-lodge at an very large oak hand carved table.   This table  was massive and she felt lost sitting so far from Jonathan,  but the distance was a safe one from each other for now. 
The table itself resembled  the one used in ancient times,  it fit the description of the table used in the old Screenplay.... Knights Tale.  
You could almost see and hear Sean Connery and a young virile Richard Gere as Lancelot, as they had a brief discussion in the scene where Connery invited him to visit the Room reserved for the Knights of the Round Table and where Gere  was made an offer he couldn't refuse....one to become Sir Lancelot. 
I would love to be sitting here next to Lancelot she thought.  mmmm that beautiful handsome face and that smoldering hot body.   The thought made her writhe with sexual energy.
Snap out of it Olivia........
Her thoughts made a paradigm    shift back to Jonathan in the blink of an eye.  Here she was with the man who was professing his love for her on their first meeting
and almost every day since they met. 
Could this really be happening?  She had her doubts.  She looked across at him, at his hard body his short cropped brown hair, those rock hard abs she could see through his tight blue & white stripe 4 button shirt.... He had these big brown eyes that pierced through to her  innermost insecurities.  Geez, he seemed so sincere.
He oozed of male pheromones to Olivia's senses and she could see by his hairy arms and chest and the sparkle in his eyes that his testosterone level was at an all time high.  She was attracted..... something about him made her completely unresisting in his presence.  
He was captivating and charming and he endeared himself to her immediately. 
This feeling alone made made her squirm in her seat. 
She tried to keep her composure but he knew he was having this effect on her.  
She was nervous around him........ unsettled. 
The sexual tension between them was high and so very powerful that she had to look away from his eyes just to keep it from controlling her. 
She was trying to convince herself that he was wasn't the one she had been waiting for, but there was no doubt that he was.  
She didn't want to reveal herself too soon, not just yet.

There was something about him she thought, something that stirred her emotions.  She just couldn't put her finger on it.
Could he be her Lancelot?  Well maybe, or could  he just be her week-end fling? 
She certainly hoped he would be both.

She couldn't help feeling helpless around him but she knew she had some reservations about this entire meeting.
Oh, she thought about this day and night since they met online, and she always wondered what it would mean to find her Karmic soul mate..... or maybe she was just trying to convince herself of that. 
All along, Jonathan had been purporting to be her soul mate as he worked methodically to gain Olivia's trust.  
Maybe this is a line he uses on everyone.....time will tell she thought?
Just as she was lost deep in assessment about Jonathan.... she caught sight of Him from the side of her eye.
He was one of the skiers she saw through the massive window she had been sitting next to.  From this window poured golden beams of sunlight across that  mighty oak carved table that she and Jonathan had been sitting at.
The sunshine was darting lightly  kissing her face beam after beam,  like a ballerina dance casting shadows of light right on to both she and Jonathan.
But there he was.....he curved his stance most deliberately so that he could come to a stop right in front of the window where Olivia sat.    He wanted to get a good full view of her.   He wanted her to see him clearly.  He positioned himself so that he could stare directly into her eyes.  He wanted her emotions to be visible to him.
It's just as if  he knew Olivia would be waiting there at that specific moment  looking out at him from the Ski Lodge's massive palladium style window.
Why is he here, what does he think he's doing?
He flashed his beautiful smile at her with his bright white movie star quality teeth and winked as his blonde curls cascaded out from under  his ski cap.
 Oh my God...No..No.  
He is such a hunk she thought, her attention was now on the blond skier... he looked so delicious,  especially today when her senses were already aroused.
What is he's doing, he sees me with another man?
She was now staring in to those baby blue eyes of his.  He was drop dead gorgeous... just like he just stepped out of GQ magazine.   He was taunting her....titillating her senses.
What do I do now?  She was flustered.
Focus Olivia, you're supposed to have your new love right here if front of you...so he says, this proposed man of karma..this new soul mate. Yeah sure.. she lamented. He's going to have to prove that one to me.
Her mind was bouncing back and forth alternatively between Jonathan and the Blond skier.
 Mmmmm.
Stay focused Olivia, you don't want to blow this, you've been through this fantasy too many times before....so just stop it.   Stay focused on Jonathan, after all you are here to meet him, not anyone else.

Anyone looking at the skier and then at Olivia... for this moment now frozen in time, would know that he was revealing  just how interested he really was in her.    It was just as if he knew her inside out and upside down.
He saw her there with another man..... that was his plan... he didn't care.  He wanted the man with this beautiful  blond woman to see him.... he was flirting with her purposefully...... he appeared as if he was enjoying the competition... and he was.
She quickly turned her head away from him before Jonathan caught sight of the look on her face.....but Jonathan did.

 Olivia had been teetering back and forth with men this way  before, so this feeling wasn't new to her. 
If only she could talk to him right now before admitting anything to Jonathan, she still had so many questions before she could go on with her plans that included answers from Jonathan too. 
That lust inside her was surfacing again like the Phoenix from its perilous ashes,  and just like always it rose again as it did in the past. 
Why do I have to have this feeling now?  But she was powerless as usual.
Olivia had a penchant for men who were solidly built and good looking.  Blond hair and blue eyes on a man were her preference....... once in a while there would be a dark haired man who would steal her attention, and at times she had been known to give in to her whims.   She wanted to do that now, oh God she wanted to.
She was overwhelmed.   Her heart was beating as fast as a drum roll.   Why won't it stop she lamented?  What do I do now?   Oh hell, choose one.  Choose your man Olivia,
but then she thought.....why do
I have to choose?

Jonathan was not so unaware of her feelings, but only she knew the depth of her longing for each one of these men. 
 Jon was there watching alright.
He was taking it all in, but he didn't know the truth behind Olivia's eyes.  The depths of her sex fueled imagination worked privately in her own mind.
Now as fast as the Blond skier came was equally as quick as he disappeared. 
She tried so hard to do it, but hiding her feelings was rebarbative to her. 
She wanted to be honest with Jonathan.... but she couldn't  do it no matter how hard she tried.  The inherent fear struck her again, her innermost voice was saying no... dammit.. no. 
There wasn't any way she was letting him in to that world of hers.....
No.... she convinced herself, he would never understand.
Oh girl, not just no, but Hell No, that was a  world that she kept separated for far too long and it was going to stay that way.... if she could help it.  
There was a place buried in the deep dark corners of her mind that she never came close to reckoning with, it was here visiting.....and Jonathan had summoned it alive.
She was here now with her own  private plan for having a fun charged week-end and she prayed that it would go off smoothly as planned. 
 Would he be the first to sample her long held desires, now if only she could let him know someway that she was game. 
She had to be sure....so sure.....so secure with her decisions, but in the end it would all be up to Jonathan.

Honey, he called to her.   Are you off again somewhere in that lusty imagination Olivia?
He seems to know somehow what she was thinking.  She blushed, he did have the sharpest instinct's when it came to her.   He could pretty much anticipate what that glazed over look in those baby blue's meant. 
But where was she this time.... his mind was aching for this.  He wanted her dirty little secrets alright, that's what his soul needed, what his imagination cried out for, it was everything he ultimately desired.
He tried so hard to pry them from her but she wasn't confessing to him, not now, no...not now she thought. 
It was her trepidation that kept him at a distance, and the same fear that made her run away from men in the past. 
In the past she would unconsciously  allow herself to be manipulated by the same dark angst that never let her reconcile her desires. 
Could she now, could she do it with him, was he the one who  could extract  these hidden secrets from the depths of her longings?  Could he be the one to extract them from her sex fueled imagination that lay dormant for so many years? 
 Why would he love me if he ever knew, he would never understand?
How could he live with me .... maybe he would hate me if he knew.  Her imagination was running wild.
All these self depreciating thoughts shot through her mind in a millisecond. 
Jonathan's voice snapped  her back to reality as she heard him calling her name.

Babe...Olivia over here as he snapped his fingers in front of her.      
 Startled...I hear you Jon. 
She came back to life in split second.
I was thinking Jonathan. 
What Olivia?
Jonathan was viewing her with an inquisitive eye.
I was watching the skiers and thought I would love to.....   Her sentence drifted off, she was lost for words.  Jonathan gave her that all knowing look. 
Yeah, and what about that guy who stopped to stare at you through the window, as he winked at her?
She looked surprised but relieved that he noticed.  Ha...Jealous are we? 
Oh no Olivia......I think it might come under the heading of interested.
She was puzzled by his comment although she was more than pleased and wished  he would elaborate.
Guess you  want to get out on those slopes, don't you?
It's been a long time Jonathan since I've been skiing.  I'm so excited. 
Yesss...she's excited alright he thought.
She tried to hide her enthusiasm about the mystery man but Jonathan was no fool....he knew. 
Her thoughts snapped her back to her mission....today, she and Jonathan and......
 Maybe some other day for the blond skier she thought, but today was clearly a day just for the two of them.  This was the pre-set day for them to get to know more about each other. She was more than interested in this dark mystery man.
Olivia... he mused, we should stay here and talk a while, there are some things I want to ask you.
 Something that's been on my mind since we met, and sweetie I want to tell you more about myself.   First I have a burning question I really have to ask you...
Oh..you do..do you?
He smiled at her and their eyes locked in a long stare.  He reached over and held her hand brought it to his lips and kissed it gently.
You know I said that once we meet and if we still felt the same about each other, and Olivia I want you to know I do feel the same way about you.
Wait...  Olivia seemed to not want to talk about this.   Jonathan maybe we should ski now, we can always talk later.  Livy....can we talk about this now?  I really want to get it out of the way it's important. Where's this headed she wondered.  Oh ok..inside she was cringing the fight or flight mechanism was creeping in to greet her. 
Olivia we said we would be exclusive and you agreed.     This means no other partner hon, do you remember?   Oh, no babe she said,  I don't, please forgive me.
She remembered ok but she wasn't going to budge on this one.
He glanced into her bright blue eyes looking for a sign of acceptance.  There wasn't any..her stare was blank.
He leaned back and took a  long hard look at her, she smiled.
He could see the sunlight sparkle back at him, her blonde hair arranged whimsically  around her pretty face, and the wind from the open door just whipping it across her forehead and cheeks, he so loved that look. 
She was so beautiful to him,
he was falling in love with her. 
Olivia.... he so wanted to tie her to him and have his way with her, but she wasn't revealing her answer.    
I know you have thought about us in that way we spoke about and I want to.......  Oh Jonathan,  she tried to change the subject. He kept on talking.  Yes Livy here's how it could work for both of us.
She was reticent now.
Jonathan please can we talk later......
She stiffened a moment then tried to relax.   He was too attuned to her moods and movements and knew he was losing her attention. He had better stop pushing so hard or I'm running.
They both had a sixth sense for each others thoughts.   Jonathan could start a sentence and Olivia could finish it.
He knew he had to tread lightly and proceed with caution if he was ever going to convince her of anything.
She took a deep breath.
Yes babe, ok she chirped, tell me what you mean.  I'm not so sure what you' re saying....oh yes I am, he looks like he's ready to make confession or sell me some snow in the winter...men.
She gathered her composure, she looked into those big brown saucer eyes of his as he smiled.  She never saw that shade of brown before it was almost like a deep caramel.  The chiseled diamond in his left ear sparkled with the same sunlight that displayed the piercing  glow in her eyes. 
I don't know if this is the right time...I... I can't ....I don't want to talk about this right now.  Jon I'm gonna freak.  She was almost hyperventilating.

Oh down deep she wanted to.... her insides were doing the happy dance but these strange thoughts came galloping through her brain.. and she had to let it all go or she was going to run the other way......again.

What's wrong Livy?  He liked calling her this abbreviation of her  name...she hated when he did this.  I'm  just having a tough moment Jonathan..give me a second. 
She searched her brain for a lie.   She had to think about something quickly to say to him.....Jonathan I was just recalling a time I was up on that expert slope and I almost wiped out and  that frightened me.   Sorry I got sidetracked.  It's just that I really wanted to ski again, it's been a long time and I don't like having any fears about it.  I don't want to fall ya know. 
She turned her head away from him and stared out at the mountain peaks as they display the beauty of a Vermont  wintery day. 
She was now looking up at the North Slope but recalling the blond skiers eyes.  Just then a warm feeling  permeated her body ....it was purely sexual. 

 He knew she was lieing. 
Okay Livy, I just thought something was wrong.  It's okay, we can talk later.
A sigh of relief came from Olivia's lips. Men do this all the time, why can't I.
Sure Jonathan maybe later.

She was sizing him up all the while.  She kept asking herself the million dollar question.    Could she ever fall in love with this man?   All this was so new to her and these feelings were whizzing around in her head like a million mad bumblebees. 
I want to..oh yes, I want to, if he'll only let me.   But... there would always be that reluctance, it was her innate nature, it had become ingrained in her, the fear that paralyzed her insides. 
Any man who knew her, knew she had that Gemini air about her....the twins.  The air that born her two sides of her personality.  
She was able to just slip through men's fingers like those golden grains of sand in Edgar Allen Poe's..... A Dream within a Dream.  Jonathan would have to hold on tight to that one golden grain of sand which was her heart and soul.  Any man would have to instinctively know how to take control of her so that they could capture what was her heart. 
Jonathan would have to seize that small window of opportunity, especially if he wanted to really know this woman, if he wanted to make her his.
The real million dollar question was.....did Jonathan want to take the chance? He had a lot of proving to do.

She finally settled down and was enjoying the scenery.  The raised hearth fireplace with huge granite weather beaten rough edged massive inlaid stones.  The crackling fire gave such a wonderful picturesque stately warm amber glow to those who invited it' s warm flickering flames which were burning and crackling to beat the band.
Ah.. A slow sensual dance with Jonathan in front of that burning fire would be something that I would love, thought Olivia.  As she experienced the warmth of the beautiful glow emanating out to titillate her senses.. she now let herself relax.
She was such a romantic and knew she would have to reign in that romanti-cism because it frightened the hell out of most men. 
She was picturing a nice luxurious bear rug laid right by the warmth of the fire, big enough for both she and Jonathan to lay on and enjoy themselves while getting to know each other.
She was unusually old fashioned when it came to her fantasies about her lover, but something in her  was awakening the opposite twin, that split personality that she had hid away for years., the one she tried so hard to suppress.  
She pictured them together pressing up against one another feeling the rush of newness in their kiss,  staring into each other eyes. this was their night for love she thought......what a pair they would make.   She wondered what his touch would be like.   Did he really have that special feeling about her.  
Little did Jonathan know that she was quite the quintessential romantic but so was he. Jonathan had lured Olivia in by claiming to  possess the same qualities in which he was finding out were already instilled in her. She already owned them and that's something he would have to live with if he was going to be her lover..
He wasn't afraid to demonstrate his feeling.   He was falling in love with her and he wanted so much for her to fall in love with him.  She couldn't be sure, but she made a solemn promise to herself that she would try with all of her heart and soul.

 He kissed her neck....honey where are you, did you hear anything I said?  Olivia was jarred back as he took her hand and lifted it to his mouth and kissed it gently.   Listen babe, I can make your fantasies come true,  just tell them to me....pleeze.   She seemed nervous.  Why can't he back off for a while, just give me some space to think about this?
I know you have dreams like all of us, and girl you must be dreaming about them now because you sure are someplace else.  
Little did he know she had the blond skier on her mind.
Jonathan no, ha ha what are you talking about.
Common baby tell me,  Please tell me about your fantasy honey, do you want......     Jonathan stop!  
This is so pushy, what the hell, why can't he back off a little and let me breathe.                           Tell me Livy, tell me about the time........    Just quit it, as she coyly smiled. 
Ah.. okay Livy, but just for now.

She was thinking to herself....... this is just a fantasy, why does he want to make these things a reality, this disturbed her for a moment.  
It's just way too early in the relationship.... nice to get to know one another but he needs to give me space to breathe and get used to him.  I have to feel comfortable with him.   I need time to think, otherwise I react.... and it doesn't ever come out right. 

Okay then, maybe I'm just reacting.  She had this conversation going on in her head..twin to twin... damn moon sign. Couldn't I have another personality sign to contend with...she had a total Gemini personality.  Damn, typical air sign, all in her head...always thinking,  holding private conversations with herself.  Aw...Screw this I need to ski.

Oh my God she thought, what's happening here we're in the middle of a ski lodge and my head is whirling,
just stop thinking these crazy thoughts Olivia, for tonight anyway.  You're only doing this because you're afraid. 
You're doing it because you want to run.  You always run, stop, just stop this one time. 
It will be okay, you will see.  Jon promised it would be.  She calmed herself. 
She always used self talk when she wanted a firm resolve.

Livy.....somethings wrong.  No Jonathan I'm ok.   You better not run dammit....promise me.  If you run I will be so pissed at you.  I'll never forgive you if you do that.
Then make me want to stay  Jonathan.

Just then the waitress was at their table.  Another Sam Adams and Cabernet? 
Oh Jonathan, look they're making more snow.  
The new
ten million dollar upgrade was pumping snow to beat the band.
Olivia... the slopes will be ready for us soon.
Oh thank God, Olivia exclaimed, I can't wait to get out there.
He thought, ahh, blew my perfect chance by hesitating I'm so freakin pumped up and want this to happen.,...ahh  crap,  I need to get her to say yes to me. 
Jonathan was pissed at himself for hesitating but he thought... later... we'll have more time to talk and maybe tomorrow we'll have more of an opportunity to er...play.
He was still picturing  himself seeing her for the first time, she looked like a angel to him as she shook her head of long flowing blond hair from side to side... and ran her fingers through it's mane so invitingly.  
He loved that look so much.   He was hard pressed to take his eyes off of her. 
Now the Lodge  was becoming the entire bedroom in his vivid imagination, as he pictured scooping her up in his arms.  He imagined that he could feel the entire sensation of her next to him on his bare skin as he held her in his arms.
The seam in the crotch of his pants was getting tighter and tighter as his manhood grew with lightening speed at the thought of her.

Sir, another Sam Adams and Cabernet?  Sir... she repeated.  He jerked back to reality as he saw this sultry brunette leaning over the table to swipe his beer bottle and Olivia's glass so that she could replenish them..
His eyes dropped to her chest and back up to her face in a millisecond, he smiled at her, she smiled back.  Your name he said, trying to read her name tag without his glasses.   Jenine, Jennifer?  Jennie she said.  Oh, okay, Jennie, I'll take another Sam Adams and Olivia will have a glass of Pino Nois this time.  He cocked his head sideways and stared at her backside as she walked away.  He was such a flirt Olivia thought, now he's really pushing it.
Just then Jonathan's phone rang again... it's been ringing since he got here....he seemed a bit nervous and annoyed now but he was trying to ignore it.  He excuses himself as he get's up to answers the phone out of ear shot of Olivia. 
Olivia tried to ignore the fact it had been interrupting them too but now she was irritated and concerned. Why does he have to hide?
He returns, I'm so sorry Olivia but I had to answer..My X she's bugging me.  She won't call again, I promise.
Turn the phone off Jonathan.
Why does she keep calling?  You said you haven't seen her since last May... what does she want? 
I don't know Livy. 
Didn't you tell her about us...that you're away? 
It's not her business who I am with Livy.
Five phone calls Jonathan maybe you should be honest with her.
I have been honest I moved out, she knows.
Maybe she doesn't get it.  
I left, she knows.   Rain man would have gotten it.
I really don't want anyone coming between us Jon....promise me please.  Women have a way of doing these things for their own selfish reasons.
I promise you Livy it's just you and me...I love you, I haven't felt this way in a long time baby.  I never though it would happen again.. and I am so happy it has.
You will see, I will treat you like gold.
Livy was getting nervous with the entire scenario.   Something just wasn't right.  Olivia was never a jealous woman..it wasn't in her nature. 
I'm doing No not jealousy, but I...something just isn't right here.  There 's something this man is not being honest about, something he's not telling me.

Come on baby we're wasting time.  I really don't want another drink, I want to go out on the slopes. We came here to ski so let's ski.  Otherwise it will be dark before we know it and then we'll really be in trouble..too many beers and too much wine and no place to stay yet.

Okay Livy okay, just one more then we'll head for the bluebird express, the new bubble chair lift up to the North Slope... he gave her a wink. 
Promise we'll be out of here by 3:30. so we can get a room at the Summit Lodge.

Jonathan didn't notice but the blond skier was sitting on the far side of the bar starring at Olivia watching her every move.
He's doing this purposefully, damn him she thought. 
He was hidden behind one of the hand hewed beams that held up the massive vaulted roof  of the club house. He was tucked away behind it so that Jonathan couldn't see him watching.

Olivia was uncomfortable being starred at. 
Can we forget that drink Jonathan and go now..as Olivia jumps up and makes her way to the door. 
Jonathan looks perplexed but follows her waving frantically to Jennie the waitress to forget the drinks.

The phone goes off again...... Jonathan must have hit the button so that it now is playing his programed tune. 
All along it had been dinging and vibrating, but annoying none the less. 
But now It played BB King's "The Thrill is Gone." Jonathan....Olivia mused, 
I really love that song, but seems like your X is getting carried away....ya think? 
Look Livy if I don't answer this she will never stop calling.
Guess what Jonathan....if you insist on answering that call then we have nothing else to talk about...seems you still are involved in that relationship  otherwise you wouldn't be receiving  all those phone calls and you wouldn't let it get in the way of what you tell me you want with us. 
Take it or leave it Jon and that goes for the text's from your female business partner which are untoward about some stupid football game... so you say....What's all this about anyway?  None of this makes any sense to me.
My friends would never think about doing that to me, knowing where I am and who
I am with.
Did you hear my phone or text go off?  No you didn't!  That's rude, and you know it was completely unnecessary.
My X could be calling me, pissing you off..... it could happen.  Would I answer.....Hell NO!  I'm with you.
Emergencies are fine.  Think that's why you have texting.
Do you know if one of my friends did that to me..knowing I was in some other State with someone who I was supposed to meet and have a wonderful week-end with, I would wonder what kind of agenda they had.
That's messed up.
What would you think if my X followed me up here and approached us Jonathan?
But Jonathan was excited picturing that scenario..he had his own agenda.

Now Jon that is the other side of me, like it or not, quid pro quo, that's my belief.
Be someone I can trust and I will trust you.
You are either going to make things happen between us or not, it will be the success or failure of this relationship.
I'm going skiing Jonathan, so if you're with me baby common,  and if not,  you can change that music on your phone to play.....
"I'm Married to the Blues"!! because I'm not going for it!    hahaha! 
 With that Olivia heads off giggling all the way to the ski lift.


Should I take two oxycondone? Can't remember how many I took before. 
She stumbled over the needle point foot stool on the way to the kitchen refrigerator for some juice to swallow her pills.  The stool flipped over, almost making her fall flat on her face on the speckled Burberry carpeting that Jonathan and Buddy had laid on her living room floor.... he laid her there too... she remembered as she chuckled and  then got sick and threw up her guts all over the place  where they had sex.  Barffff.....she was a mess.
She pulled herself up holding on to the sofa and stumbled toward the Kitchen.
 The door to the refrigerator swung open and hit the wall with a loud thump, she realizes that she was impaired.  her judgment and special reckoning helped her to half heartidly retrieve the juice from the frig when she spied a chocolate candy bar sitting on the top shelf.   It was left there after her last binge of sweets brought on by her drug addition. 
She grabbed it and chewed it like she had never known what a piece of candy tasted like. 
It was just like the first time she had discovered chocolate.

She mixed the juice and pills in her mouth, swished and swallowed.  She walked back to the sofa and sunk deep within it. He had only been there a few months ago in that same spot sleeping there day and night.
 But now here she was all alone again. 
He finally left her after five years, three of which were spent sleeping on that same worn out sofa she had just sunk into. 
He was like a little lost boy whose heart had been crushed but was oblivious to the fact that it was he was doing the crushing.
Angie was in counseling, she was there for perscription drug issues and depression but mostly because Jonathan was driving her mad, and her drug affair was precipitated by her need for relationship counseling. 
It was a merry go round of sex, drugs, relationship affliction and self destruction.  It was Jonathan who spawned the monster and fueled it's energy but it was Angie who got addicted.
Angie knew Jonathan's unforgiving nature, his jealousy.
She picked up the phone and dialed Jon's number.  As usual she had to leave a message, he wouldn't answer, but she called anyway... she was still in love with him. 
Angie made another four calls before he answered.  Hello Jonathan.  Jonathan please, I miss you, can I see you?
Angie..what is it, I'm busy.
Can you take me with you to your mothers for the reunion?  Angie, this is not gonna work, let me call you back later.  No Jonathan please tell me now.      I want to go with you to the family reunion your mother invited me.  Angie, you can go but I promised my son we would go together alone, now I have to hang up.  I can't talk now,  I'll call you later  I promise,  we' ll talk.

Angie knew exactly where Jonathan was and who he was meeting because Vicki just happened to let it slip out.   Vicki was always purposeful.
It was Vicki's way of keeping her hooks into Jonathan and controlling his every move. 
Vicki knew she needed the upper hand if she was going to get Jonathan to do what she wanted in their business and that did not include another woman who he had the potential of moving in with.  Especially one who didn't live in Delaware.
Jonathan ran Victoria's business....and if he's telling the story.. it's really his business and she is just his backer.  
But little does he know that there's more going on than meets the eye, and that Vicki  has no intention of letting him move from Delaware...she has big plans and they include Jonathan. 
Jonathan if confronted with the reality of his friendships would deny all of this.  After all he was so blind in seeing what was going on around him.   He thought he was the master in control... but he really had no control.
It wasn't his fault, he just wasn't aware that as a child who suffered through being brought up by an addicted parent, that he himself  unknowingly took on the characteristics of that parent. 
You either become so aware of what's been done to you and take steps to change it, or you become a control freak like the characteristic which alcoholics and addicts display. 
The mantra is  "they think they are in control but the fact is that they have no control" and that's the fact that Jonathan refused to acknowledge.  
When it came to Vicki, Angie and Louise .....there were just too many women in Jonathan's life sucking his energy, and too many woman vieing for Jonathan's attention.
 Olivia was in for  a rude awakening and the fight of her life if she wanted Jonathan.




 Loss Of Truth  
The Book & the Screenplay

  Is about man and a woman who meet and fall in love,          
their past's were colorful and their lives were intertwined with a series of joy and heartbreak,  but they found each other .      
The conflict and passion they share brings out the best and the worst in them. 
He get's involved with unscrupulous business partners who not only compromise his livelihood but put everyone he knows in danger.  What he thought was a legal enterprise turned out to be a world wide distribution vehicle for illegal drugs.  This is not your  typical run of the mill  drug operation but something so high Tech that the most  sophisticated DEA or Drug Enforcement Agency  is stopped dead in their tracks.
                                         
He lands in witness protection.   A scientist's invention can free him but only in a virtual world.   Would that be enough for them?
She has a secret, she's in love with two men, but is forced to choose between them.  If she had her way, she would never stop loving either one.

Will start writing mid year, now in the research and development stage.

I hope you will visit
  the pages to the left which especially my ideas for writing screen plays and music which I do a little of every day.
Olivia is a fictional person created for either a Character in my Book or a Screenplay. 
 I have started on my Book (s) just recently and have been working on a tag line, and that too will have to be developed since I have the beginning chapters written and have just started on the ending.

I have great story to tell, in some ways it's part of who I am and in other ways it couldn't be further from the truth.   But we all know that part of us lives in each story we tell.
So now I'm working on my writing skills, my dramatic narratives and conflict......ah conflict!  The master of my days and the protagonist of my life.   If it were only a person I wouldn't have as much trouble presenting him to you.




 


   EMAIL ME AT:   STARLYRICS@VERIZON.NET 

website: http://www.starlyrics.biz...Olivia lee Skye Productions

I will be happy to consider any questions or appreciate any comments...

I can be reached at starlyrics@verizon.net

WHAT WOULD TWAIN SAY

The smile you flash in all good conscience
It’s alluring note of playfulness
I hold it in my thoughts of you
as it flows across the path of earths forward motion
across the plains of sandy soil, the dust billowing for a moment in time
You smile and quickly glance in my direction
eyes dancing beautifully smiling
all the love you have inside you shows

So now I go as a knight in shining armor,
my souls attraction emanates out into life
as I look, I marvel in your uniqueness
how can the wind’s flow lead me to you
you’re the one who summons the stars in the night sky,
the moon overhead, the sun shining down in all its glory
The movement of the water comes running to you.

As the breeze whispers it’s emotions into your ear
and as it emanates from you to me
the light flickers, a candle in the dark night shines
as you stand there rooted into the ground as a solid pillar
the element, your element, electrifies and excites the currents within my spirit soul
my thoughts reach out to draw you to me
you smile again, then you come to me and take my hand
the world is a better place just knowing
It not that we hold the knowledge of all that’s shrouded in secrecy
It’s when we know what we know without knowing

Is it what we know that could or should bring us more joy
we need knowing, as it’s truth is what we need to survive.
we can say that night is only the opposite of day
but that is like saying black is only the opposite of white
the differences in people are paramount
we are the only ones who can convince ourselves,
that they are one and the same
because the path of truth lies within our minds
and is that which we ourselves hold true.






If Mark Twain were to repeat this last paragraph
He might just write a part of it that lets us discover some of the misguided conceptions that we feed our minds,
which in an after thought, would allow us to see some of somewhat of ourselves
I can hear his voice as he gestures and speaks, Val's voice as Twain,
maybe after he again sees a vision of Mary Baker Eddy,
 who he so infamously conjures up in his mind.
She has rejected talking to him once again. 
As he looks over at her he begins to speak
He would say it, something like this:

  We know that life should bring us more joy
After all, people need the truth.
They don’t always know the ungrammatical conversations
That might put a misstep in us getting along with another person
It’s like saying black is white, and white is black.
We are the only ones that can convince ourselves of this misguided truth,
We ere are all those differences we find in one another,
and why when we see them, are they as different as night and day?
The truth lies behind a mans eyes, fiddling in his mind
He just gets so caught up in being afraid
That he runs from the perfect opportunity.....

Another  verse as Mark Twain  might say it!

It’s like all this pushing and stubbornness has to occur
Before a man gets to see a glimpse of himself
He never will know himself when he hides from the truth
So that his object of affection can’t reach him
There are those mistakes he makes,
that drives him off to shallow purpose
that doesn’t hold fast any truth in it
Back to the comfort of a place which he needs to disrupt the most,
the only way he'll break free from the status quo he’s living,
 that place holds him as a prisoner chained to his mind.
He'll know, the defense he can’t see when he’s running away,
aw, my thought’s went awry again, oh God forgive me,
my(daughter) is so sick, she needs you're help.
 Lord, (He’s thinking again.  Will I find this new & different experience)
Help me find it or you’re not a kind spirit.
( but, he finally stops)  I just have to stop this daydreaming their gonna come get me, only he encounters the same obstacles again and again.
Oh, I can’t do this, Oh Mary, you know you need to tell me truth,
what better way to show I’m right!!
(until one day he realizes that he is the only person not seeing himself)

OR: AS MARK TWAIN MIGHT SAY

When a man is stubborn and fails to see himself
How can he progress away from what chains him in the present
And find anything that’s new?  why that is impossible!
He’s always thinking the grass is greener
But, he runs across the same grass as he encounters the past in his future.
Until one day, right now, he might stop to listen to his thoughts
After all, he has hidden the truth so well from himself.
It’s only in the true knowledge of his mind that he can find anything short of himself
After all how can he find it when he’s truly not looking from the inside out
When he’s pointing fingers at everything and every one except himself.
How can this man be true to anyone when he can’t even be true to himself?

Visit the Lyric pages for another Poem written on Mark Twain's Birthday....."Orion"


Loss Of Truth     The Book & the Screenplay

  Is about man and a woman who meet and fall in love,          
their past's were colorful and their lives were intertwined with a            series of joy and heartbreak,  but they found each other .      
The conflict and passion they share brings out the best and the worst in them.
 
He get's involved with unscrupulous business partners who not only compromise his livelihood but put everyone he knows in danger.  What he thought was a legal enterprise turned out to be a world wide distribution vehicle for illegal drugs.  This is not your  typical run of the mill  drug operation but something so high Tech that the most  sophisticated DEA or Drug Enforcement Agency  is stopped dead in their tracks.
                                         
He lands in witness protection.   A scientist's invention can free him but only in a virtual world.   Would that be enough for them?
She has a secret, she's in love with two men, but is forced to choose between them.  If she had her way, she would never stop loving either one.

Will start writing mid year, now in the research and development stage.


 


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